Are you in a relationship with someone who causes you to question your sanity? Does every argument wind up being your fault? Do you live in denial of the red flags suggesting secrets are being kept from you? The world calls it Narcissism. A catchy buzzword for a person tormented by demons that are wreaking […]
Anger is like a spider that creeps down your bloodline poisoning each generation. It artfully spins unique cobwebs of rejection to trap its victims. Rejection is the birthing ground of strongholds. It was introduced in the Garden of Eden when the serpent convinced Eve she was left out of the fullness of God’s knowledge. Rejection […]
“I am sick, and I will never get better. My life has no hope.” “What if I die young and never get to see my children grow up?” “I made a mistake, so now I am condemned to the consequences.” The lie at the root of your fear is now an idol driving obsessive/compulsive thinking. […]
“What if our economy crashes? “What if I lose my job?” “What if we lose our freedom?” Welcome to fear of the future that creeps in with the dreadful words “What if?”. “What if’s” are meant to take you out of God’s timing. They run you out from under his umbrella of grace with foreboding […]
Some clients come in who are mad at God. They’ve received prophetic words, or assurances in their spirit, about what God was going to do, and they’ve not been fulfilled. They’ve believed teachings that tell them God’s plan will always be accomplished, and their faith takes a beating as life events unfold in a different […]
Are you ready for a fresh start? Or are wrong expectations causing you to drag last year’s strongholds into 2021? What you expect is the focus of your faith, and you will get what you expect! Fresh starts require a new focal point. God allowed us some unusual trials last year that He meant to […]
Are you reliving past trauma? Do you see things from your past like a scrapbook full of old pictures? Have unhealed issues suddenly become raw and tormenting? Demons are looking for a vulnerable place in your soul to resurrect torment to destroy your future. You resuscitate demons by meditating on past wounds, lost opportunities, old […]
“I can’t watch the news anymore; it makes me so angry!” “Facebook is infuriating me.” “I am grumbling in anger all the time!” Spirits of anger are enjoying the world events, and they are trying to infiltrate your soul. They know if they can get the sun to go down on your anger, they have […]
Depending on the church you attend or have read, you may not be aware that the Bible speaks of a second judgment for Christians. It’s called the judgment seat of Christ, where every believer gives an account of deeds and words spoken (2 Cor 5:10). “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of […]
Does your thought life sometimes seem like a runaway freight train? Or, is it more like a boat that is sinking – you try to bail out the evil thoughts, but it’s a losing battle as more rush in? Controlling one’s thought life rests at the center of a happy and contented life. As believers, […]
On the first counseling appointment, we try to assess a person’s spiritual condition… specifically, where are they in their relationship with Christ? One chilling response always concerns me, “I consider myself a spiritual person.” It sounds harmless but I’ve found that clients who voice that view are often very difficult to connect with. They voice […]
When we minister to children, understanding traumatic events that happened during the mothers’ pregnancy or during the actual birth is essential for effective deliverance. A mother concerned about her four-year-old son’s fearful behavior came into the office looking for answers. Everything seemed to frighten him. When I asked her about traumatic events in her life, she stated, […]
Our nation, and indeed the entire world, is reeling amid a significant social, medical, and economic crisis. The term “social distance” has sprung into our vocabulary and will be forever reminder of this time. While earthly systems and paradigms are being shaken, we hope you are enduring this trial immersed in the peace of God, […]
“I just don’t care anymore!” “I give up!” “I am bored.” “If I finish this blog, no one will read it anyway!” If you are speaking these words, they are an indication that a spirit of apathy is working overtime to steal your promises from God and leave you hopeless. Apathy is an ugly spirit […]
You need spiritual help. Your issue is beyond what your pastor can deal with. Do you need to jump drive (or maybe fly) somewhere or would be comfortable dealing with someone via a computer screen? I want to help you sort through answers to questions you may have so you can determine what’s best for […]
This article was originally published on April 24, 2012. It has been edited and re-released in 2020. In modern American lore, the terms “mafia” and “death” are frequently used together in the same sentence. From a spiritual standpoint, we have seen that even “uninvolved” family members can have spirits of death (and more) operating in […]
What is the number one cause of bitterness? Here are some clues: “No one appreciates me!” “I feel like a doormat.” “Why am I always overlooked? “ The number one cause of bitterness is feeling disrespected! When you are disrespected, you become offended.
What if I told you where you can access everything you need at any time for spiritual growth and victory? The bible calls it “heavenly places.” Believers need to understand that God created the visible and invisible world, and we have access so we can thrive and win spiritual battles. Understanding heavenly places is key […]
Did you know that unforgiveness can hinder your ability to move forward in life? Do you feel trapped by the issue of your past? Do you feel like your relationship with God and your loved ones are hindered? Have you stopped hearing the voice of God? Unforgiveness is toxic to the soul. When unforgiveness is […]
Many of our articles, videos, and podcasts mention the counseling services we offer, the training and educational opportunities available and online training and teaching products. These can be found in the online store. We also provide a wealth of free resources, and in this article, I want to highlight the locations and how you can […]
Did you grow up reading romance novels or watching Julia Roberts movies? Did you escape in a fantasy world to avoid the reality of your childhood? Fantasy is not always a sign of a healthy imagination. It is often a hiding place the enemy uses to develop disappointment and depression. It also keeps you from […]
“The devil just keeps coming against me, brother.” Every counselor has heard that lament many times, and many counselees have voiced the same complaint over my twenty years in ministry. I’ve had to help many try to sort out the root or roots of their problems. How can you determine if it’s Satan or you […]
“I have forgiven my offender, but I do not trust him/her!” Sound familiar? Guess what? That is an entirely fair statement! Forgiveness is a requirement by God. Trust is earned! When I am counseling couples, the two are often confused so I would like to share two encounters with you dealing with adultery.
Few topics polarize the Body of Christ like the spirit realm and spiritual warfare. The discussions may not be as passionate as the gift of tongues, but good-hearted folks can disagree fervently over the impact of demons and Satan in our lives today. I want to outline 12 points that I believe are relevant and […]
Is poverty a branch in your family tree? Do you struggle with lack of finances? Do you get to the brink of success only to fail? Does money slip through your hands? Let’s look at the roots of your family tree. You might like to call this poverty a generational curse, but not so fast! […]
How do you view yourself in God’s kingdom? Are you still a sinner saved by grace who has no power and still needs the Father or Jesus to step in and fight for you. Are you united with Christ and drawing from Holy Spirit who lives inside of you? How you answer these questions is […]
When I hit a milestone birthday a few years back, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Reaching 30, 40, and 50 presented no problems. For the first time in my life, I started to look back instead of ahead and upward. Have I reached the pinnacle in my journey? Is it all downhill […]
*More Ways to Enjoy This Post* Read the Article View the Presentation Watch the Video
Are Your Negative Expectations Limiting God? from Above & Beyond Christian Counseling *More Ways to Enjoy This Post* Read the Article Listen to the Audio Watch the Video
If you allow demons to manipulate your thoughts with negative expectations, you are limiting God. Your expectations can sabotage your future! Let me repeat the warning I issued in a previous article (Is a Demon of Dread Manipulating your Expectation?): What you expect is the focus of your faith, and you will get what you […]
Have you ever felt directionally challenged? When you were supposed to go right, you went left and got lost? Don’t feel bad, you are not alone. Do you remember the two believers traveling on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24:13? They were heading away from Jerusalem while consumed by the disappointment of Jesus’ death. […]
We hear it frequently in client interviews. They share how someone has abused or mistreated them in the past, and they now want to visit the offender to tell them that they have forgiven them. Is that always a good thing to do? Is it helpful? For whom?
Family gatherings and togetherness are the things we cherish most at Christmas, so it follows that the demonic kingdom would unleash the opposite to keep you scattered and distracted and running low on patience. Just as we celebrate the end of campaign commercials, the onslaught of Christmas commercials begin. You know the ones I’m talking […]
Do desperate attempts to reconcile a situation leave you rejected and alone? Have you been called “high maintenance” or “needy”? Does your ‘love bucket” always feel empty? There is a crazy cycle of rejection fueled by desperation intent on moving you out from under the grace of God’s timing. It’s a worn out demonic conspiracy […]
I heard a nugget of truth several years back during an interview with a couple who had been married over fifty years. The interviewer asked the husband what the secret was to a happy marriage. His answer was so simple and so profound that it embedded firmly in my memory bank and I will share […]
“The devil is in the details” (or fine print). You’ve heard people declare that in exasperation. Are you aware that it belonged to God first? Taking the easy way out and relying on God to bail us out can lead to disaster. Consider this explanation in Wikipedia: “The devil is in the detail” is an […]
Adapted from: “God’s View Today-Adjusting the Lens on Healing and Deliverance” by Phyllis Tarbox and Kathleen Peck. Available in our online store on October 8, 2018. Satan unleashes a familiar attack on the heart of a woman. He is a thief, he knows you, hates you, and wants to take your identity. He creeps in […]
Don’t you wish that the apostle Paul had expanded on some nuggets he gave us in Scripture? One passage that tormented me for years was Phil 4:11-13. Paul boasted that: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to […]
We don’t usually blow our own horn a lot but it’s nice to share some love when we get it… Feedspot.com has selected Above & Beyond for placement in it’s top RSS feeds for Christian Counseling blogs and YouTube Channels! It’s an honor to be selected in both categories. What is Feedspot.com? From their own website: […]
“I’m a realist while my wife is more spiritual than I am.” An internet client shared this with me recently. He was not embarrassed or defensive; I felt his declaration manifested pride because he had a better handle on real-life issues than his spouse.
“We don’t go to a church right now…” We hear it frequently from counselees. On our online intake form, we ask potential clients to tell us what church they are attending. Partly it’s to know their denominational background but what we really want to know is if they are plugged into a healthy and thriving […]
I ask the question of counselees: “Did you forgive yourself?” The most common responses are “I’m not sure I can” or “I don’t know.” Answering this question is vital to one’s deliverance and normal progression on the path to maturity and discipleship in Christ. I’m going to share four specific keys to help you overcome […]
You’re a Christian woman who is gifted, hardworking and striving to have it all. You work outside the home, are a leader at work and seem to have it all together. We’ve counseled with many women who fit this description, but they come to us because life is unraveling at home. I want to offer […]
Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:12 that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil. He is talking about demons in our earthly realm as well as those in the second heaven. At Above & Beyond, we equip our clients with findings from the Arno Profile System (APS). This […]
Are you striving to find your purpose? Have you lost sight of the dreams you once had? Do you feel like a relationship sabotaged your life? If you have struggled with delay, sabotage, and a lost sense of purpose an ungodly soul tie could be at the root of your torment.
How do you know if you have forgiven with your “whole” heart? Anything less allows an open door in the spirit realm for tormentors to jail you! The good thing about taking a test with God is that there are no failures, just retakes. The test is short, and I do not believe in circling […]
The Word of God is a sword, but Christians often wield it to cut others up. There is a greater purpose and counselors can minister life and hope through the skillful use of biblical truths. Ephesians 6:17: “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Hebrews […]
“I just can’t find a church I like.” I hear from counseling clients a common refrain. They usually express a measure of regret, but often there is little urgency to remedy the situation. Is it fine for believers to be on their own? Modern technology affords us the opportunity to connect with people without leaving […]
The Holy Bible is God’s revealed word to the world and to His followers. Its pages contain warnings about the dangers of idolatry, yet modern day believers fall prey to this sin just as Old Testament believers did. I will relate a client’s deliverance ministry encounter that may be hard to believe. The Lord revealed […]
No one chooses to be stale, stagnant or stuck in a rut. But what if it was a wrong choice that caused your delay? It is possible that decision was based on what you thought was obedience. God can always redirect your steps if you give him something to work with, but adamant refusal to […]
Church pastors are to teach, shepherd and protect the flock under their watch. The majority perform those tasks with diligence and integrity. Some seek to elevate themselves, but I have seen many of the sheep put their leaders on pedestals that are ungodly and unsustainable. The results are often disastrous.
I often cringe when someone declares, “God told me.” I hear it frequently — in sermons, private conversations and from clients in my counseling office. I’m going to antagonize some folks with this article; please read it all the way through before firing off an angry phone call or email.
“My marriage is in crisis because of a communication problem.” “When I try to talk to my spouse I feel like I am constantly defending my position.” “I gave up trying to communicate because my feelings just get hurt.” I hear these statements frequently in my counseling office.
How do you know when you’ve forgiven someone? In Matthew 18:35, Jesus insisted we must forgive our brother from our heart. What does that mean — is it based on our emotions or how we feel? Let’s explore this admonition from the Lord in more detail because proper understanding and application are critical to getting […]
Do you feel hopeless, helpless or worthless? Are you constantly trying to do right, but still end up doing wrong? Are you tired of life? Does the guilt, shame and condemnation keep you from being prosperous and productive? I have encountered many who struggle with emotional and spiritual pain. They appear healthy on the outside […]
There is a lie lurking behind same sex attraction that has left our youth at a crossroad of confusion. These are the words I hear that describe that confusion: “I have thoughts that come out of nowhere that make me think I might be gay.” “I’m not like everyone else. I am different and I […]
Do you wake up and feel like you are already behind schedule? Do you handle interruptions to your plans with grace? Or does frustration lead to an explosion of anger? Have you made your “To Do List” an idol? If you suffer from ungodly self-control that is driving you with a performance mindset, you may […]
Does your old party lifestyle now seem awkward and uncomfortable? Do you struggle with sinful behavior when you are around the wrong crowd? Walking away from old friends and lifestyles is a difficult time of transition for many people. Some of your old friends can wind up being ungodly soul ties that are influencing to […]
You are stuck in a marriage that you know needs professional help desperately. You need marriage counseling but your spouse is unwilling to get and says that you are the one who needs help or just stubbornly refuses to budge. You are angry, hurt and feeling helpless for the future of your union. What can […]
Everyone has experienced the sting of betrayal by a close friend or relative. We expect those close to us, our confidants, to be for us not against us. We can be shaken to the very fiber of our being when wounded like that and many people never recover from the hurt. I’m going to lay […]
“We need help communicating” is a frequent lament from marriage counseling clients. Deeper issues are typically present, but we make temperament (often known as “personality” or “psychological) analysis a focal point because of the good fruit it bears! When we review client profiles, they are amazed at how understanding each other better, coupled with a […]
Do you feel trapped by fear? Tormented, paralyzed or overwhelmed? Christians pursue many avenues to gain freedom from an emotion that can be debilitating and physically damaging when it is full-blown. At the end of this article, I’m going to give you one action item you can do today to begin to move forward […]
Does either of your parents use control to dominate and intimidate? Do you cower in order to keep the peace? Do you feel like a magnet that attracts controlling people? Guess what? You probably are!
Are you watching your children head down the same road you travelled when you were young? Are you screaming, “Don’t do it! The choices you make now will impact your future!” on deaf ears? Or are you living in fear that your child will be abused, abandoned, or rejected like you were?
You remarried, and one or both of you have children from a prior relationship. You hoped for the best, that the new family would simply mesh on its own, but now you have a sour taste and feel like you are experiencing the worst. Here are four ways that stepchildren can damage relations with your spouse. I also propose […]
Have the losses in your life called you into an isolated wilderness of depression where no one understands your pain? Are you struggling just to make it through the day? Are you on medication that has left you numb and void of emotions? Loss is hard and unavoidable in life.
Depression is a malady that torments people and holds them back from fulfilling all that God has for them. I have grouped different life situations, or depression triggers, into four areas for consideration. A friend of mine, in a spiritual context, used to say, “diagnosed is half-cured.” I believe there is some truth to that […]
“I just blew my lid, but my anger was justified!” “I put up with her faulty belief system long enough, righteous indignation took over and I taught her a lesson!” “My anger shut him up, because it was righteous!” I hear this when clients proudly talk about how their anger was used to teach their spouse […]
Are you a person of excellence that has let the striving nature of perfection drive you to anger? Do you ask about the root of your anger? Do you resent interruptions and grow impatient when others disrupt your plans?
You are a victim of adultery; your spouse has had an affair and it’s over. You have purposed to rebuild your shattered marriage by the grace of God and your willingness to pursue it. However, your thought life is being invaded by thoughts; different thoughts at different times. In this article, I’m going to explore three […]
Are your children afraid of you? Do you lose your patience quickly and blow up at minor interruptions? Do you resent the burdens associated with parenting? The responsibilities you are handling today as a mother, wife, career woman, and daughter can be quite overwhelming.
Do you ever feel like you have lost pieces of your soul to each of your sexual partners and are somehow still bound to them? Has spiritual oppression been more evident in your life since you became sexually active? Sexual sin creates big open doors to torment in the spirit realm.
While we don’t find the term “ungodly fear” in the Bible, there is a godly fear. There are at least three lessons we can learn about the other kind: the type that is unhealthy, damaging and not part of God’s will for our lives.
“They’re out to get you; there’s demons closing in on every side. They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial…..” It’s that time of year again! Halloween season is in full swing and so is the “Thriller” memorial to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. People all over the world are […]
Has your husband ever provoked you to such anger that you began reciting all his character flaws to anyone that would listen? Have you ever said something like: “My husband is arrogant, obnoxious, angry, stubborn, critical, cruel, and self-absorbed?” Or perhaps: “He is lazy, unmotivated, selfish, and uncaring.”
Christian men need help to navigate the jungle that they face. There is lots of wrong help and advice out there that they can fall prey to. I want to recommend 5 excellent websites, with free resources, that can truly help men become all God has called them to be as leaders, husbands and fathers.
Is your testimony so messy you don’t tell people you are a Christian? Do you do things you regret, but you do them anyway? Are you becoming the parent you said you would never be? Generational sin or iniquity is the largest open door the demonic kingdom uses to destroy the testimony of a Christian. […]
It is important to look at what the Bible says about depression. As new covenant believers, we must understand and apply these scriptures from the vantage point of Christ’s finished work on the cross because they offer the very best hope for freedom. Are you bound up in depression and frustrated at the lack of victory […]
Have your prayers become crying sessions that torpedo you with greater despair? Have you lost sight of God’s infinite love in the onslaught of guilt, shame, and self-condemnation? Depression is a ruthless thief the demonic kingdom employs to kill, steal, and destroy your intimacy with God and His purpose for your life!
Do you remember the day when your peace evaporated in thin air? When torment familiar to your past felt like it started following you again? A time when you knew you were innocent of any sinful behavior but felt victimized all over again by a demonic harassing spirit.
You’ve just had another quarrel with your husband, and you can’t figure out why he doesn’t understand you. He is frustrated because he says you are not listening to him. Both of you are pulling back. You love one another, but this ongoing disconnect threatens to destroy what you know the Lord has ordained for […]
“He is my soul mate!” “He is like a drug that I am addicted to. ” “He will always have a piece of my heart!” These words follow one person who swept you off your feet and mesmerized you like an intoxicating drug. You craved the time you spent with them and never got enough.
Do you wake up wishing you could just pull the covers over your head and stay in bed? Does dread overtake you as soon as you rise? If you have ever paid attention to your first thoughts, you would quickly understand the agenda the enemy is scheduling for your day.
We prepare people for deliverance ministry by teaching them about open doors for demonic torment and then work with them to close the doors before the actual deliverance ministry. Traumatic events in a person’s past can result in oppression that torments them long after the incident has passed. One of our Center’s clients suffered a […]
“Anger is my friend, it protects me from abusers!” I’ve heard statements like this from clients. They are reticent to part with the spirit of anger, because they believe it makes them who they are, stronger, more confident, and not vulnerable to abuse.
Are you stuck in a dying marriage? You’ve tried all you know to do and nothing’s working? You want the marriage to work, but your faith is waning, and hope is on its last legs. Maybe your spouse will not get any help at all, and you are at the end of your rope? I’m […]
“God doesn’t seem to hear my prayers!” “I just can’t understand how another year has passed and I am still waiting for my breakthrough!” “Why is this taking so long?” Have you ever spoken those words? Do your prayers seem to be at the bottom of God’s inbox?
The day after Robin’s sudden and tragic demise, we were contacted by a Christian radio station and invited to be on a drive time show to talk about depression. Neither Phyllis’ nor my schedule would permit it, but I’ve spent some time musing on what I might have said. When a beloved comedian sees death as […]
We frequently meet with clients who relate horrific instances of abuse that happened to them as children. A question many people wrestle with is simple and understandable: “If God loves me and is all-powerful, why didn’t he stop that from happening to me?”
People come for Christian counseling for a variety of reasons. During the initial session, I try to assess several factors, but one thing I am looking for is desperation. If it’s there, great! If I do not sense much urgency or desperation, then my ability to help someone becomes more difficult. It’s hardest when a […]
Do you find communication with your mother impossible without conflict and criticism? Has your relationship with her moved from tolerance to avoidance? Do you dread seeing or calling her? Have you screamed, “I do not want to be like my mother!” but are concerned because you are seeing these repeated patterns in your life?
I love to help people and see the word and power of God bring healing and restoration into their lives. As a Christian counselor and deliverance minister, the first session I have with clients is vital in gathering data and assessing how much I can likely help them. This article describes five negative indicators that […]
We all have prayers and petitions before the Lord. We are asking him to move in our life, family, work and church situations. We pray for direction and wisdom and then anticipate an answer. Have you made a life-changing decision based upon a perceived answer to prayer and then watched as the situation completely unraveled?
One of the most common laments I hear from wives during counseling sessions is, “I can’t get my husband to talk to me”. In this article, I want to offer three simple suggestions for husbands: “Do these to begin communicating with your wife.” Intimate, emotionally-connected conversations with their spouse is one of the most compelling needs that wives […]
Men are not supposed to be afraid. They are raised to be warriors, protectors and conquerors. For Christian men, the challenge to grasp biblical truths and overcome fear can be daunting in the face of worldly pressures. This article is part of a series and offers men one key to overcoming fear.
Have you ever thought, “I would be better off dead?” Do your prayers include a “death wish” to go home to be with the Lord? Do you find yourself disconnecting from life and praying to wake up in heaven?
Do you have a history of declaring the following regularly, like a broken record? “I just don’t care!” “I feel numb! “ “I give up! Whatever!” Do you want to cross over out of lukewarmness and get back to on-fire passionate living? Consider some of the dreams and goals that you had when you were […]
Some of our clients mention that while online personality tests can be fun, they have the mindset that psychological testing may be contrary to Scripture, and that Christians should avoid it. Are psychological tests for Christians harmful or helpful?
Our approach for providing Christian counseling for depression in men is similar in most ways to what we do with women. However, the bible defines different roles for men and women and the different sources of depression must be addressed. Women are typically much more vocal than men about their need for help with depression. […]
The bookshelf in my counselor’s office is full of good resources, but I’ve added a new one: “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley, Jr. The tagline is “Building An Affair-Proof Marriage” and he shares some excellent ideas and strategies.
We know that Satan and the demonic realm hate God, hate Christians and hate the Bible. Fortunately for them, much of the church of Jesus spends little time teaching about their plans, schemes and modes of operation. There are many scriptures about demons we need to know, but I want to highlight two that are […]
A recent online article in a popular Christian magazine proposed that the best marriage was a 50/50 partnership. While some would be ecstatic if their marriage ever reached that level, I believe it is ultimately a destructive and non-biblical assessment.
Have you ever gone to bed angry and then woke up even angrier? Has an unresolved argument caused you to lose sleep? Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT) states: “Don’t sin by letting anger control you.] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
You are a man, and you need counseling. You know it; your friends or family have been bugging you and now you are ready to take the plunge. You want a Christian counselor, and now you need to decide whom to call. Asking your pastor (if you attend a church) is an easy first step […]
Elvis Presley’s fans were always saddened to hear the announcement that he had left the building after a concert. Has romance in your marriage gone the same way, and you can relate to the pain? You don’t have a perfect marriage, but you and your spouse love each other. The problem is that your love […]
Men who need spiritual help regain order in their lives do not start out expecting to fail. They normally fall victim to one or more of three main enticements that the world has to offer. What are these lures and how can a Christian man avoid getting caught in these traps? We look at those […]
Christian counselors are called to help people fulfill their God-given destiny. They may need to help them heal, better understand God’s word, make decisions and stay (or return to) the narrow road that leads to life (Matt 7:13-14). Deliverance ministry should be an important part of the Christian counseling skill set that the therapist has […]
Has a wayward spouse broken your marriage and left you locked in a cell of debilitating resentment from the bitterness of adultery? Are you battling with your spouse’s words when he or she said, “You drove me to it, this is not all my fault?”
Are people close to you calling you an angry man? Your wife, girlfriend or family says you need help, but you are not convinced? You contend that if others would quit pushing your buttons you would be fine. Coming to grips with the reality of an anger problem is difficult for many men. Some recognize […]
Are you ready to disown, “My Depression” and begin to live a joy-filled life? Or are you resigned to live a life controlled by a cycle of losses that keep you bound to your past and the curse of generational depression? The losses that sabotage your freedom probably look different from what your mother endured, […]
Has fibromyalgia stolen your freedom and left you depressed and hopeless? Did the diagnosis bring with it a word curse of no cure? Fibromyalgia is a strategic attack from the demonic realm that uses fear at its root to steal the destiny of women. Here’s my story of victory and freedom!
We see many instances in Scripture where Jesus would encounter people and leave them with an encouraging, “Go, your faith has healed you!” directive. They would depart with their heart’s desire met (Mark 5:34, Mark 10:52, Luke 17:19 are a few instances) and each time Jesus was pleased with what he saw in them! Why […]
I saw an article recently on a secular website about a hospital in Pennsylvania that began a new inhouse treatment program for what has apparently been identified as a new brand of addiction: a gaming disorder! Just as we looked recently at the label of sexual addiction, let’s take a brief look at this […]
I saw an article in a secular online journal recently that asked this question about sexual addiction. It referenced a recent study that found that sexual addiction did not likely exist as a medical condition. As a Christian counselor, I have been skeptical of this label for a long time and would like to share […]
The first meeting with new clients, especially those who know nothing about our Center, is always an adventure! Some have researched the website extensively or been referred over from other clients and have at least a cursory understanding of what we do. The most intriguing sessions, however, involve those who typically perceive that their situation […]
Are you frightened by the possibility that your child is cutting? In recent years I have watched sadly as the age of children that cutting themselves with blades drops steadily from college freshmen to as young as fifth grade. Recent reports have called “cutting” the latest epidemic to hit our children in the ages ten […]
I have met with hundreds of couples in my tenure in counseling and have, after much contemplation, review and prayer, narrowed the list to three major reasons why Christian marriages fail. Here they are, in order of priority: Selfishness Selfishness Selfishness
Can the generational curses of our forefathers continue to cause torment in our lives? In recent blogs I have shared what I have seen as common spiritual oppression based on ethnicity. Important disclaimer: these are based upon my observations and experiences in deliverance ministry only. This post takes a closer look at the German heritage.
Do you know that you have two minds: a soul mind and a spirit mind? During our counseling sessions with clients, I am frequently amazed at how confused people are about the nature and progress of their “born again” experience. In this article, I want to clarify the issue and hopefully give hope to many […]
Do you consider yourself a Christian? A spiritual person? One of the assessments we always try to make in our initial session with new clients is where they are in their walk with God. What do they believe about Christ and eternal life?
As a Christian counselor, I have seen many clients whose current “issues” are in many ways a direct result of weak or non-existent personal boundaries in their lives. Our center teaches a lot on this topic and what follows are the five most common misunderstandings that we perceive people have about this topic.
Teenagers! Who among us has parented teenagers and ever said it was easy? I want to meet those parents! As a mother of two daughters only a year apart in age, there was a season where the Holy Spirit was working overtime in order to show me the posters, clothes, and various items that allowed […]
In my years as a Christian counselor, I have seen many clients who are battling depression. During the first session, I assess, as a minimum, the following points: What is the client’s physical state? Do they exercise? Are they overweight? Studies have shown that there is a link between physical well-being and depression. While chronic […]
In this series of blogs on generational curses, I have shared what curses consistently manifest by ethnicity during deliverance sessions primarily with women. I would like to take a slightly different slant now and share personally on my heritage, which is predominately English.
As a full time Christian counselor, I hear lots of perspectives from people on how they view God, His character and motives. What follows is a list of the most common misconceptions people have voiced to me when they come in for counseling. Some of you might read this and view one or more of […]
In the course of counseling our clients, we have seen how their view of the “real” world compared to the biblical view is a key part of helping them with their spiritual growth, deliverance and healing. Chuck Colson defined worldview as “the sum total of our beliefs about the world.” Do they see it from […]
In my counseling center we minister to people from all denominations, walks of life and vocations. They come in for many reasons but below are the five main issues I see in pastors and ministry leaders. They struggle with the same issues as the people they lead or pastor. I’ll also offer my perspective on why […]
This is the second in a series of articles on generational curses common to women of different ethnic backgrounds. Below are my observations and experiences in deliverance ministry with what I have found to be common in the African American culture, whose generational roots are founded in slavery.
Hope this title caught your eye. Let me give an important explanatory qualifier: the list that follows is prepared from a Christian counseling perspective. It comprises responses to the most common complaints I hear from clients about God’s apparent unwillingness to answer their furtive cries.
This is the first blog in a series where I will be sharing (purely from my experience in deliverance/ counseling sessions) what I have found to be common generational spiritual torments common in women from specific ethnic cultures. I did an introductory article previously to further explain this series. This first article looks at generational curses common […]
In our counseling and deliverance sessions, apart from the preparatory teachings and ministry time, we put a lot of effort into familiarizing our clients with the power of the tongue. In the tongue, the bible tells us in Proverbs 18:21, is the power of life and death and we will eat of its fruit so this topic bears special […]
What are the most important points a counselor or pastor should try to get across to couples soon to be married? That question is very much open to debate and given the typical timeframes and sessions available there is not a single pat answer. People are different, come from different backgrounds and are at different […]
I saw an article in my local newspaper this morning that compelled me to put pen to paper. The secular world has so sanitized the occultic realm that a public school teacher in Florida felt safe bringing in a speaker with a ouija board to teach on summoning spirits! The complete article, from Tampa Bay […]
As a Deliverance counselor I have been asked by overweight clients to cast out the spirit of gluttony that they thought was causing them to overeat. However, what we have found is that gluttony is not always the common culprit. It seems that what is lurking behind overeating can be the provoking spirit of seduction!
Occultic activity is by definition messing with the demonic realm? We should not be surprised that demons invited in are not quick to leave! Dictionary.com defines occultic (adj.) as “of or pertaining to magic, astrology, or any system claiming use or knowledge of secret or supernatural powers or agencies.” The use of secret or […]
There is great debate in the Body of Christ on the validity of temperament analysis and it’s use in Christian marriage counseling. Some see it as a valuable tool while others consider it a tool of the devil to mislead believers. In an earlier post, “Temperament Analysis: A Tool of the Devil?” we gave […]
I have occasion to minister to couples who are into their second (or more) marriage and there is a typical common assessment of the difficulties they are encountering. The phrase, “we’ve each got baggage” or some facsimile thereof is a common refrain and here is what I hear when they say that: “We brought demons […]
In the wake of the scandal at Penn State University, the decision was made to remove the statue of Joe Paterno from its location outside the football stadium. The story and human tragedy is well known and it prompted me to consider the question about my own life: “What is your legacy?” Have you thought […]
Is the trial you are walking through, directly related to something you have spoken in judgment over someone else? Could your own words have opened the legal door for your current bondage? We teach on unforgiveness and judgment all the time, and in one of our recent seminars I had a young woman stop me […]
In August 2011, my boyfriend left me. We had a fairy tale relationship for 16 months. We were friends as young and we found each other again and began a whirlwind romance that was leading to marriage. August 2011 left me devastated.
As Christian Counselors we are always trying to map out the best ministry plan for clients when they visit us for the first time. Many need deliverance ministry and would benefit from it significantly. However, we have found that some have “out of control” relationships and they are not well positioned to gaining and securing […]
When we meet with counseling clients we frequently got unsolicited updates about what another counselor (allegedly) told them! Some of these comments range truly from the sublime to the ridiculous but over the years, I’ve learned to have a full shaker of salt at hand just in case! As NCCA-Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselors in a […]
There are truisms that we adhere to our ministry: you cannot counsel demons out of people and there are not demons behind every problem! Many people spend years in counseling with minimal lasting growth because they need deliverance. Others see deliverance as a “quick fix” and refuse to walk it out afterwards. They have little […]
One of the open doors for demonic torment in a person’s life is the realm of word curses. This is a very broad topic and little understood by most in the Body of Christ. These curses need to be broken in a person’s life so that the associated spirits can be called out with minimal […]
Many couples seek counseling from our ministry to help rebuild a marriage shattered by infidelity by one of the partners. We do the best we can as counselors to assess the situation, the willingness of each to “work things out” and then help them implement a process to begin reparations. Once a couple are through […]
Have you ever noticed how things such as poverty, divorce, depression, anger, and depression seem to run in families? The world would tell us these are learned patterns of behavior. The Bible teaches us that the sins of the father can visit the third and fourth generations (Exodus 20:5). Sin that opens the door in […]
Loss is a part of everyone’s life; no one is immune. How long one grieves that loss however, will determine whether they move forward to a season of restoration or get ensnared in a stronghold of depression. God is not the author of the loss rather He is the one who turns the mourning to […]
We just finished our first “Released to Soar” Deliverance Seminar of 2012 and if the freedom gained during this seminar is an indication of what is promised for this year, I say “Hallelujah”! Our seminar room was at capacity and we ministered to hungry and hurting sheep who had been lied to, stolen from, and […]
Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:13-14 that the gate to destruction is wide and the road is broad. However, the gate to life (Him!) is small and the road to life is narrow. A narrow road to life is not incompatible in any way with God’s grace and mercy any more than staying on a […]
Have you been praying for the same thing, over and over, and not seeing any results? Often times what is hindering your breakthrough you cannot see in yourself, even when everyone else seems to be able to! That’s when you need an extra set of eyes to help you burst forth out of desolation and […]
The inhabitants of the city of Jerusalem knew what do with their waste /dung. They took it out through the Dung Gate to be burned. Deliverance ministry can function like the dung gate for your soul; will you open that gate? Many believers choose to hang on to their trash instead of carrying it out […]
Pastors and counselors have a heart to help people and are continually looking for new books/techniques/revelation to help them be more effective. Why would so many ignore deliverance ministry — a “tool” that has been around for centuries that was used, endorsed and taught by Jesus? Deliverance ministry for counselors is liking having another club […]
I would like to share my experience at a recent “Released to Soar” Deliverance seminar; I hope you will be encouraged enough to attend one! Originally, when I came upon the Above & Beyond Counseling ministries website, I thought about a family member needing deliverance and volunteered to come along. Little did I know, […]
This is the answer I hear many times during the first counseling appointment when I ask why a client is sitting in front of me. He has been caught using pornography. Sadly, it’s an all too common, particularly when you consider that it is often coming from a man who professes Christ as His Savior. […]
The question “Where is that in Scripture?” can come from inquiring minds who are trying to understand or religious minds who are looking for an excuse to reject what you have to say. We encounter both mindsets as we try to explain how and why we do the things we do specifically in the ministries […]
In an earlier blog last year, I described how the Lord showed me what we need to do to keep this ministry alive and vibrant (“The Narrow Road to Life“). In this article, I want to elaborate on some things I have learned in counseling about staying on the narrow road to life in our […]
In one of my earlier deliverance ministry encounters, I met with a “Mary” , a married mother of two who had been who had been an exotic dancer in the past. That part of her life had been had been spiritually dark and painful for her and the fruit of that, and other aspects of […]
Is your teenager going wild? Have you found yourself saying; “Who is this child?” Was 14-years old the age they disappeared? Teenagers remind me of a beautiful plant properly potted and nurtured, that suddenly hits a wild growth spurt becomes unrecognizable!
Every year the war over Halloween begins to surface. There are those who staunchly believe it’s okay to give candy to a fun-loving bunch of ghouls and others who want to condemn you for even buying candy. So where is the truth in all of this?
Last of a 3 part series In a marriage, husbands need respect and wives need love just like fish need water: to survive! This article focuses on what wives need! In part 1 of this series, we posited the view above based upon Dr. Emerson Eggerichs book “Love & Respect and encourage you to get a […]
Part 2 of a 3 part series In a marriage, husbands need respect and wives need love just like fish need water: to survive! In this second part, we look at the husbands’s need for respect. In part 1 of this series, we posited the view above based upon Dr. Emerson Eggerichs book “Love […]
If you have gone through deliverance, and are now free from the demons that were once controlling you, have you renewed your mind fully from abusive patterns and self defense mechanisms that were the tools of survival in your childhood? The renewing of your mind is clearly a process of coming out of agreement […]
Part 1 of a 3 part series In a marriage, husbands need respect and wives need love just like fish need water: to survive! In our marriage counseling practice, we incorporate principles from a wonderful book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called “Love & Respect”. I strongly encourage every married couple to pick up a […]
What is at the root of your self defense mechanisms? What causes those automatic responses that keep God and people from getting too close to your heart? God showed me a picture of that room at the beginning of this year. During prayer the Holy Spirit showed me a three-story house with three rooms on […]
Words have creative power, for good or evil (Prov. 18:21, Matt 17:20,James 3:8,9) and part of our teaching for counseling and deliverance ministry preparation involves breaking word curses. However, we see this notion of word curses in the Body of Christ carried to what we believe is an extreme that can result in us looking […]
In our counseling sessions, we use the Arno Profile System, a clinical diagnostic tool, to help assess a person’s God-given temperament. It is a useful tool because it allows us to more accurately tailor counseling to an individual’s specific needs. From our experience, there are at least six specific advantages of this tool as it […]
One of my more memorable counseling/deliverance clients was a man who had been through two marriages and is current one was failing for the same reason: he had anger “issues”. Meeting in our Tampa office, he gave me a lot of information during the first interview session. He was very open to deliverance ministry because […]
*****This is the last of a five part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.****** If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly supine in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive […]
*****This is part four of a five part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.****** If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly phlegmatic in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive and indeed thrive! This […]
Could a sense of entitlement, rooted in self-pity, set up a reward system in your life that opens the door for over-eating, over-spending or over-“whatevering”? The opposite of confidence and value is self-pity. Self-pity occurs when we feel we deserve to receive something and then get overlooked. It could cause us to set up our own […]
Has your walk with God, brought condemnation by the crowd around you that is walking in the opposite direction? Have you asked God to move you away from the mockers and scorners that ridicule your walk? I know I sure did. I remember when the Holy Spirit caught my eye and radically changed my heart. It was […]
*****This is part 3 of a 5 part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.****** If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly sanguine in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive and indeed […]
*****This is part two of a five part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.****** If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly melancholy in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive and […]
As a deliverance counselor, one of the questions I am frequently asked is, “What if I can’t remember all the details of my childhood or I leave something out that is crucial to my deliverance?” I think it’s important to realize that we have a very balanced process that gives the Holy Spirit room to […]
*****This is part one of a five part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.****** If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly choleric in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive and […]
Adultery can be a marriage-killer but it does not have to be. God can and does work healings and restorations! We have helped many counselors get back on the narrow road that leads to life! Sadly, for many couples, the pain of this experience is the culmination of what has been a very unhappy union […]
“Exposing the Dangers Behind Martial Arts and Yoga” Vito Rallo is an author and this book warns Christians about the spiritual dangers and roots of martial arts and yoga. Vito is a former karate champion.
This video introduces the book of the same title by Jesse and Kara Birkey. The couple’s marriage was tested by an affair and the book details the healing & restoration that God performed. Subscribe to our channel here: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=aandbcounseling .
One of the hardest things for parents is to release fully our children to God. We know they were given to us as gifts and that we have been entrusted with their spiritual covering. However that responsibility can consume and destroy our peace if it goes unchecked. I had a vision of that struggle several […]
Henry David Thoreau determined famously that, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” That is such a mournful declaration in general but is even more painful if it is applied, and is true, for those who profess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. […]
Do you know that you have a full inheritance from God that is waiting for you NOW? Do you feel at times that you could almost reach out and grasp it, but you just can’t see it? That territory is your promised land, it was assigned to you the minute you accepted his son, Jesus […]
I saw a t-shirt recently that said “The voices in my head don’t like you” and it reminded me of people who we’ve ministered to who have had the voices silenced. Some number of clients we see are on psychotropic medications for various afflictions, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and more. The overwhelming majority […]
Sooner or later it seems to happen to all of us: we get beat up by a spiritual shepherd who’s supposed to be protecting us! If you are walking on the narrow road that leads to life (Matt 7:13-14), you are going to run into the persecutors who will throw you out of the synagogues. […]
On the day I lost my job in corporate America many years ago, I collapsed emotionally as my twenty-eight year career was going to relocate to a different state without me. What I subsequently realized was that the day prior to receiving the news, I had waved the white towel before God. During that end […]
During the course of my years in counseling and deliverance ministry, I have had occasion periodically to minister to men who have been involved in child molestation. In every case, the legal authorities were aware of the crimes involved so there was not a “need to notify” issue for me which I was thankful for.
I hear a variety of comments regularly from my counseling clients: “I hate my job!” “My boss is a tyrant!” “ No one in my office is a Christian and they treat me like an outcast”. “If the economy wasn’t so bad I would have left long ago!” I remember feeling that way numerous times […]
I was counseling a married couple a few years back who were in the midst of real problems. As part of the process, I administered our Christian temperament analysis tool to each of them and reviewed the results. A couple of days later, the husband came in alone armed with “proof” to convince me […]
In our fifth deliverance ministry session with clients (and in the CD teaching handed out at the end of the “Released to Soar” Deliverance Seminars) we talk about how to stay free and stay on the narrow road that leads to life (Matt 7:13-14). It is important to be prepared, and be able to discern, when the […]
Do you find yourself tossed to and fro emotionally, like a leaf on a wave? When I was a young child growing up in Connecticut, all the kids in the park wanted me to play with them on the see-saw. Not because of any particular skill I had, but because I was always at least […]
Isaiah 35:3-4 encourages believers with these words: “Strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.” (NIV) Weariness is a weapon that the enemy […]
Does guilt grab you during the holidays? Do you feel scattered and off balance with all the distractions? I had a conversation about guilt during the weeks before Christmas while at the gym working out with my instructor. (The gym seems to be a great place to share deep subjects while you are stuck on […]
The Christmas season for many, rather than a time of love, joy and peace, is one where “their” depression is manifest in a powerful way. Demonic spirits have names and in Isa 61:3 the Lord promises to give His people a garment of praise to replace a spirit of heaviness (NIV) or despair (NKJV). We […]
As part of the preparation for deliverance ministry, and obviously an important aspect of any Christ-based counseling process, we teach extensively on the need to forgive those who have wronged us. We talk about what it means to forgive, how you can know that you have forgiven and how to deal with emotional issues after […]
Over this past year God has shown us the need to offer continued counseling to those who would benefit from understanding a simple process on how to renew their mind from lie based patterns of thinking. As we look across the body of Christ this seems to be a consistent theme that the Holy Spirit […]
I’ve had occasion to minister to wronged spouses (victims of adultery, spouse caught with pornography or perversions, etc) and they often do not understand why their partner just did not stop doing the behavior. The same argument is sometimes used when dealing with those dealing with substance abuse issues. “If you really loved me, you […]
In Matthew 24:10, Jesus is talking of the signs to come that the end is near. 10And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. The enemy is roaming about these days using this scheme on the church in order to divide and conquer. Jesus is coming back […]
(Or do you have God’s Premium Security Software System of Faith Installed?) Fear is a virus that contaminates your thinking and shuts down Gods truth with a lie. Sin originated with satan’s lies. He contradicted Gods word and told Eve she would not die, but gain Gods wisdom if she ate the fruit from the […]
Christian (and secular) bookstores have shelf upon shelf of books that focus on inner healing, emotional healing, healing of memories and so on. It is a huge focus for people and in our ministry we liken inner healing after deliverance ministry to going to the hospital with a splinter in your leg. Once the splinter […]
Our ministry utilizes a straightforward and simple approach to deliverance that we believe is supported by Scripture and adheres to the mandate Jesus set forth in Mark 16; 15-18. Yet we find that some still do not believe the whole bible and that deliverance is for today. I had a client like that recently (let’s […]
Are your children getting educated on the spirit realm by Jesus or Harry Potter? Where are they getting their most effective spiritual training? I always find it interesting when parents bring their teenagers into our counseling office and those young people have an interest in learning about spiritual warfare and deliverance. Their parents have typically brought […]