Are you in a relationship with someone who causes you to question your sanity?
Does every argument wind up being your fault?
Do you live in denial of the red flags suggesting secrets are being kept from you?
The world calls it Narcissism. A catchy buzzword for a person tormented by demons that are wreaking havoc on relationships to kill, steal, and destroy the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
In this article, I will outline the top three characteristics of a Narcissist and how they affect their victim. This topic can be slippery because these demons will attempt to convince you it’s all in your head or your fault.
Before you read further, pray with me out loud right now.
“Lord, I bind up mind-binding spirits of confusion that would keep me from understanding your truth, and I loose clarity over my mind as I read this in the name of Jesus Christ.”Let’s look at the warning signals you should be alert to:
- Blame Shifting/Gaslighting: Nothing can be the fault of a narcissist. It is pervasive for the accusations to describe their activities. One of my clients came in with a stack of index cards created by her husband, outlining all her faults. After the truth was exposed, it was a telling narrative of his demonic torment, not hers.Blame shifting starts early in response to an abusive parent. Someone struggling with Narcissism learns early in life that it is better to lie and shift the blame than suffer the abuse. Lying and hiding become second nature.Blaming others insulates the Narcissist from the truth until they believe the lies themselves. It is a form of brainwashing. The lie often repeated enough eventually becomes “their” truth. The victim of Narcissism is left struggling with a spirit of confusion and insanity that convinces them they are the crazy ones. Victims cower with spirits of fear and never challenge the lies. They live within a double standard. There are always two sets of rules with a narcissist, which are above any applied to the victim.
- Control: The Narcissist uses control to hide. If you challenge them and they feel threatened, they will try to manipulate your emotions with self-pity. If that does not work, they flip to anger very quickly. They do not like deep conversations that allow you to get too close to any real emotion. They refuse to be vulnerable.Spirits of cowering and silencing begin to feed the Narcissist’s spirit of control. This form of control keeps the victim walking on eggshells. Emotional needs are never met. The victim never feels heard.
- Hiding/Secrecy. Sadly, most narcissists have a secret life. They need the picture of everyday family life to be their smokescreen, but something is lurking you don’t see. Often it is some form of addiction, pornography, or adultery.
I advised one of my clients to ask the Holy Spirit to show her if her husband had a secret life before we prayed for her deliverance. I said, “If it is time for you to see, God will show you.”
She felt led to go through the box of legal papers with the divorce certificate from her husband’s previous marriage.
She had viewed it many times over the past 20-plus years, but this time it stuck to her fingers as she leafed through the box. She felt the prompt to look online at the court filing and found that her husband had been married three times and only divorced once.They were never legally married in the 20 years they were together. He was still married to his second wife. Their children are considered illegitimate.
If you approach the Narcissist with factual truth and catch them off guard, they will respond in complete denial. Within a few days, they will have a whole story to exonerate them from your findings.
It usually swings back to some part of it being your fault. Narcissism is a vast topic, and I am only hitting the top three characteristics in this article. But know this; your denial is the key that secures your bondage.
If you are ready, ask God to show you, then get some help from a skilled Christian counselor that knows you are not crazy and that you are under spiritual attack.
God wants you free more than you do.
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