*****This is the last of a five part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.******
If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly phlegmatic in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive and indeed thrive! This article gives an overview only; for more information visit this link: Supine temperament.
Supines are gentle souls with a lot of indirect behaviors. They are not vocal about making their needs known and generally expect that loved ones should be able to “read their minds” without them having to express themselves. They are dependent and like to be involved in the decision-making process but do not like making the ultimate decision or deciding on their own.
Things To Know About Supines
- They need to be told daily in words and actions that they are loved, needed, and appreciated.
- Supines are followers and not initiators; therefore, significant others need to initiate socialization.
- They need help to make decisions and take on responsibilities
- They are dependent people and should not be forced to act independently very often or for long periods of time.
- Supines do not make great disciplinarians of the family.
- They like to be encouraged to give their input and state their preferences because they will often not speak up on their own
- Encourage them to be more assertive in sharing the things that make them angry. They will say their feelings are hurt which is an indicator that they are angry
- Supines have servant hearts but need recognition for the services they perform.
Things You Should Do (and Not Do!) for Supines:
- Tell them every day in words and actions that they are loved, needed, and appreciated.
- Try to understand their needs to socialize and provide them with the emotional support to do so. Supines are not initiators; therefore, significant others need to initiate socialization.
- Work very diligently to raise their self-image by reinforcing the positive and downplaying the negative.
- Help them make decisions, take on responsibilities, and share responsibility for the decisions they do make.
- Do not force Supines to act independently very often or for long periods of time.
- Never force Supines to be the disciplinarian of the family.
- Encourage them to give their input and state their preferences.
- Encourage them to be more assertive in sharing the things that make them angry.
- Accept their dependency without dominating them.
- Give Supines recognition for the service they perform.
“Issues” That Supines Must Typically Address or Learn:
- Learn to deal with anger constructively and in ways pleasing to God. They must recognize that “hurt feelings” indicates anger that must be dealt with.
- Raise their self-perception by learning to see themselves as a wonderful, loved creation of God. This will make the fear of rejection from man less intense. They have servant hearts but must learn to get their value from God, not man, especially if they are not outwardly rewarded for their servant deeds.
- Learn that God is always with them and will take care of them in order to lessen their fear.
- Learn that manipulation through emotional blackmail supersedes the will of God.
- Learn how to express their needs more clearly to loved ones because their family cannot be expected to know everything that they need.
- Learn to seek direction in making decisions from God and Christ. This will strengthen their will power.
Disclaimer: The discussion above is geared solely towards providing insights into this temperaments needs, strengths and weaknesses. Our temperaments are never an excuse for bad behaviors and we encourage you to seek competent Christian Counseling if you are having individual or relational problems.