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You are here: Home / Christian Counseling / How to Let Go of Your Children

How to Let Go of Your Children

By Phyllis Tarbox

One of the hardest things for parents is to release fully our children to God. We know they were given to us as gifts and that we have been entrusted with their spiritual covering. However that responsibility can consume and destroy our peace if it goes unchecked.

I had a vision of that struggle several years ago. In this vision, I was in a “tug of war” with a donkey that was grinning and baring his teeth at me. I had both feet firmly planted in the ground; my grip on that rope was so tight that my knuckles were white and my hands were being burned by it.

In the midst of this war, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Jesus was standing there and he asked me, “Can you drop that rope?” I looked at him in disbelief and said, “No! That donkey is really my family.” He smiled at me and then said, “You kids just can’t let go can you? Can you hand the rope to me?”

That question really ruffled my feathers because quite frankly this was “my” mission. It had never occurred to me to hand them fully over to God and let go. So, reluctantly, I gave the rope to Jesus. He then took my hand and we walked together for a while, and then he dropped the rope. In horror, I asked him, “How could you do that? I trusted you?” He looked lovingly in my eyes and said, “Phyllis, I don’t need a rope, they will follow me.”

Good Intentions Can Lead to Bad Results

For years I had that rope of my good intentions wrapped around my children‘s necks. I wanted the best for them, but ended up choking them with it. There was no progress in this tug of war. I had to cast my cares upon the one who they would eventually follow by their own free will.

Letting go is not easy to do, especially in the midst of a trial. But you can do it, if you’ll follow these three steps.

  1. First, remember, you are not alone. You have the Word (God’s promises for your children). You have the Holy Spirit to comfort you, and you now have a picture of Jesus is standing there waiting for you to hand him the rope.
  2. Second, surround yourself with parents who have, “been there, done that” and have the victory. Instead of rehearsing your worn out problems with them, listen to them. Let them do the talking. Join in with their faith for victory.
  3. Third, thank God for answering your prayers, and praise him. Stop digging up your prayer seeds that you have planted to see if they have sprouted roots yet. Just plant those prayers, and thank him for that harvest.

Things may look dark right now, but trusting God to take care of your children, so that your life will reflect Joy in the trials is key.

As Kenneth Copeland says, “You can’t win a victory as long as the problem is the biggest thing in your life.” God knows where your children are, but as long as you insist on holding that rope, his perfect will for you and them is at a standstill.

Your problems are not the biggest thing in your life, Jesus is. Take captive your thoughts, align them with Gods word and He will set you free!

As a parent it has been a joy to watch my daughter take those steps of faith on her own. Jesus was right, they follow him, not me!

Filed Under: Christian Counseling Tagged With: family, women

 

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