Life Tips: Living With A Phlegmatic

*****This is part four of a five part series on how to live/coexist/thrive with different temperament types.******

If you have a spouse/child/significant other in close proximity that is predominantly phlegmatic in temperament, knowing the needs and aspects of this temperament, coupled with a significant amount of grace on your part, can help you survive and indeed thrive!  This article gives an overview only; for more information visit this link: Phlegmatic Temperament.

Things To Know About Phlegmatics

• People drain their energy reserves.
• They have a wry/dry sense of humor that they use to keep people at arms distance.
• They are inherently “peacemakers” and conflict-avoiders.
• They tend to be very passive with their deep (i.e. family/close friends) relationships.
• They tend to be spectators in many aspects of life, and also in their walk with God.

Things You Should Do (and Not Do!) for Phlegmatics:

• Do not force them to socialize. People drain their energy reserves.
• Share decisions and be willing to accept part of the responsibility for the consequences.
• Show them they are loved and appreciated by using only a moderate amount of physical attention and doing special things for them.
• Do not force Phlegmatics to take on full responsibility for someone else.
• Understand their limited energy reserves and do not push them beyond that level.
• Find special ways to keep them involved in deep personal relationships.
• You will need to typically be the aggressor in deep relationships. Do not become angry and hostile because of their unwillingness to initiate affection.
• Recognize that their wry, cutting sense of humor is only a defense mechanism to protect themselves and their low energy levels.

 “Issues” That Phlegmatics Must Typically Address or Learn:

• Find employment where they can undertake tedious tasks without being required to interact with people for long periods of time.
• Maintain a proper balance of diet, exercise, work, and relaxation to insure proper energy balance.
• Learn to show deep, tender feelings in ways that are comfortable and others can understand.
• Be inspired to do something about the injustice they see.
• Be inspired to stay involved in life.
• Be inspired to stay involved with the deep relationships in their lives.
• Set activity guidelines to keep from sleeping their lives away.
• Control their critical attitude about others.
• Be more willing to make sacrifices for others.
• Learn to be more flexible and less stubborn.

Disclaimer: The discussion above is geared solely towards providing insights into this temperaments needs, strengths and weaknesses. Our temperaments are never an excuse for bad behaviors and we encourage you to seek competent Christian Counseling if you are having individual or relational problems.

Other articles in the series:

Melancholy | Supine | Sanguine | Choleric