I love to help people and see the word and power of God bring healing and restoration into their lives. As a Christian counselor and deliverance minister, the first session I have with clients is vital in gathering data and assessing how much I can likely help them. This article describes five negative indicators that I have seen that tend to work against positive outcomes.
I always want to come out of that first session with an accurate understanding of why they have come to see me and also their current spiritual condition. I’ll be the first to admit that this diagnosis is more of an art than a science, but here are the five red flags that will get my attention:
- Unwillingness to acknowledge their own issues
“My wife/husband thinks I have a problem” is not the optimal response to the question of why they are sitting before me. At some point, they need to open up and move beyond telling me what is wrong with everyone else. God resists the proud (xxx) and this type of response is a huge hinderance. - No (or little) fear of God
I am using fear here in the context of “reverence” and “worship”, not trepidation and anxiety. Without a revelation of God on many levels, people perish (Hosea 4:6). We should not obey God out of concern for retribution and judgment, but rather as an active response to his love for us. This positive attitude helps put people in a better place for receiving and acting upon proper biblical counsel. - Religious/legalistic backgrounds
It is a sad reality that many people who know the word of God well are not always in a position to receive and respond to the power of God in their lives. Those with strong, rigid opinions about God and His ways are often difficult to reach. Religious/legalistic doctrines and theologies typically oppose the doctrines of grace, and I am a big “grace” guy. - Minimal desperation/hope
I love to meet with desperate people! They are open to doing whatever it takes to turn their life situation around. Conversely, those whose bad behaviors are enabled by well-meaning loved ones present a real challenge. Why would they change unless there is an urgency to do so? Similarly, some have a “been-there-done-that” mentality regarding counseling and hope is hanging by a miniscule thread. I can only encourage them to stir up their faith for God to do the work, but the path to victory is often steep. - Limited bible knowledge
Part of the Christian walk involves appropriating God’s promises, declaring them and standing upon the word of God. If someone has limited knowledge and understanding of God’s word, it means they have a very small platform to work from! My job becomes a little more difficult, and their challenge is greater because they have fewer resources to draw from.
I Believe For A Season Of Fruit
I understood years ago that I was only a vessel and conduit for the word and power of God to work through. Only God can fix people. I do all I can to help but purposed not to take ownership over each situation or prospects for the Holy Spirit to do the work.
There is also a season for all things and do not get discouraged if people do not return for subsequent session. We may hit a roadblock now but it does not mean that spiritual victory does not lie ahead in the future.
The word of God does not come back void; I always share the scriptures during that initial session. I have seen blessed to see many clients return after a season because life situations finally prepared them for the counseling or deliverance ministry services that we provide.
Some also seek help elsewhere, from other Christian counselors and resources, and I actively encourage them to do that if we mutually determine that our Center is not a good fit. You cannot force-feed counseling or deliverance on a client and a hungry, open and willing spirit is vital for successful and fruitful outcomes!
Have you been in counseling situations and seen one or more of these factors in place? Are there others that should be included?
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Such a good word – thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Pat. It’s a not a positive, upbeat article but I hope that some counselors are encouraged and others might check their motives. As you well know, we can’t help everybody no matter how badly we want to.
Dear Don,
Thanks for your post. On many an occasion I find myself not agreeing with some of what you post but this time, in my opinion, I think you’re on the money. I also believe that the five indicators you mentioned also probably apply to many cases of deliverance. Many people want G-d to do the work without any participation of their own. That applies to salvation but it stops right there. There is a deliverance circus going on that fits perfectly into the state of most of the current self proclaimed “Christian” church. I believe it is yet another indicator of the lateness of the hour.
For many years, I spent tens of thousands of Dollars with secular counselors and shrinks only to come to the realization that it would probably take millions of Dollars and hundreds of years to deal with the main issues I was confronting. After becoming a believer (Not a follower), I invested more time and money with “Christian” counselors, who had the right heart but, I believe, the wrong approach. Yes, there is only one healer and He did pay a hefty price for that privilege. That not only goes for the soul, but also for the body. Millions of people are trapped by a medical python that profits voraciously from treating and not curing ailments and illnesses, but I won’t go there.
I also believe that there is even a greater issue here: Most of the people you describe in the article aren’t even saved… They just think they are. They have not been forgiven by a G-d who requires repentance before applying the precious blood of His Son. They do not know the terrors of hell, their own guilt, the sorrow of G-d over their own condition, the need to be set apart in order to please the One who gave, gives and continues to give so much. They do not understand The Law and they do not know the cross. If you do not die you are not born again. That is not a physical death but a death nevertheless. It doesn’t usually happen instantly (Sometimes it probably does) but I find that most Christians in America, and I emphasize MOST, are born again in their heads only. They listen to counselors, teachers, pastors, so called “prophets”, evangelists, etc. but they do not S’hma Him. They hear people, most of them well intentioned people, but they do not have the only relationship that counts for true salvation and eternal life. This does not mean that G-d cannot use people in those positions. He is G-d and He can do all things.
Don, I like your list and would suggest adding, a false self-centered relationship with G-d. We all come to Him the way we are, selfish, sin-ridden… broken. But if over time we remain that way, we are not born again, only fooled again. A false Gospel is preached in America placing the sinner, the seeker, the believer, at the center of G-d’s plan. Y’Shua is at the center of G-d’s plan. Keith Green, a follower of Christ who died in a plane crash in the nearly 80’s got G-d’s plan for the sinner without His Son right. “In fact, God’s ‘plan’ for the sinner at this point in his life is to separate him from His presence forever, in hell. However unpopular or unlovely that may sound, it is the only truth and reality about anyone who is an enemy of God through sin.”
In a comment about the Gospel that was and is still preached (His comment is from the 70’s, early 80’s), Keith wrote: “It’s Shallow, Cheap, and Offered as a ‘Bargain.’ Our gospel reduces the good news to a “come and get it while you can” sale. We make every effort to take all the bones out – everything that might offend someone, might make them hesitate or put off their decision. Jesus didn’t do this. He never lowered the requirements for anyone. One had to be completely sincere, totally humbled, having counted the cost, willing to leave everything, family and property, “count all things loss” so that they might ‘gain Christ.’ (Phil 3:7-8) ”
The preaching I heard, when I used to go to Church (instead of becoming the Church), leads to selfish, “blessed,” feelings oriented believers (haSatan an his demons are believe Y’Shua, as a matter of fact they well know who He is) who do not follow Him and do not produce fruit. I pray for those in leadership every day who fleece them and do not DEMAND fruit of them in order to keep their gravy train rolling.
I am sure that His Word does not return void. One day His Word will return either fruit or judgement. It’s time to take off the gloves.
Be blessed.
Thank you for your thoughtful and extensive post, Louis. You expanded on many good points that I only touched on or even did discuss. Salvation status of the individual is always a key thing we try to assess. As you mentioned, Christian counselors even with the best of intentions and heart can have the wrong approach and certainly different theological views. We appreciate your insights!