When I accepted Jesus as my savior, I believed and was baptized in His name. At that time, I truly believed that the Spirit of God entered my spirit and He was and is sealed within me. However, my soul, consisting of my will, my mind, my emotions, my thoughts, my senses, my memories, my decisions, my choices, etc., are not sealed.
It is here, within my soul, that the battle was and is waged between the Spirit of God that is within me, and my own flesh and demonic forces from Satan. Unfortunately, the church I was saved in, didn’t believe that the Holy Spirit’s power was available for mankind since the apostles death.
The Spirit of God within me was quenched from the very beginning when I accepted Christ as my Savior, and I quenched it more with poor choices and decisions. As a result, until recently, I was losing the war. Satan was winning the battles. I had been a failure and poor example of a Christian man, for the most part, in my walk with the Lord up to this point.
Many times in the past, due to the ongoing sins I committed, I would cry out to the Lord and cry for forgiveness and the strength to overcome the temptations that were relentless in my life. But, to no avail. Matters worsened as time went on, until finally, sin truly overcame me and totally separated me from God, as well as from my two ex-wives and other relationships. I was so far down into pit, I saw no hope. I recently, seriously, considered suicide.
I take full responsibility for my life. I make no excuses, I have none. I was and am a product of my own free will and my own choices. Many of which, in the past, were due to selfish and fleshly motivations and desires, separate and apart from demonic oppression.
I did, however, also come to learn, that there were generational curses, other curses, and demonic oppression in my life that significantly contributed to my inability to overcome my sinful behaviors, which continued to worsen over time. Some of these curses and strongholds in my life were passed down to me due to previous generations in my family being involved in the occult, pornography, sexual orgies, sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc., as well as curses that were placed on me by Buddhist monks while I was in Vietnam, among others.
After prayerful consideration and a genuine effort, choice, decision, and desire on my part to get right with God, and to overcome the sins that have plagued me for a lifetime. I searched the internet for days, praying to God to lead me in the right direction, for a place that could address my failures and inability to overcome the sins in my life. Sins that destroyed two marriages and many other relationships–and almost destroyed me. I also came to believe, through the power of the Holy Spirit, that my issues were spiritual in nature. They also involved satanic and demonic oppression, in addition to my own poor choices and decisions. Finding a credible ministry and church that addressed such issues, in a godly and scriptural manner, was not easy, but the Lord came through.
I went through deliverance. I read books, identified the strongholds in my life, prayed, was in the Bible every day and night, attended daily sessions with my counselor and came to know Jesus in an up close and personal way. He became my constant companion throughout all of this. My Confidant, my Comforter, my Revealer, but, most of all, my Friend. I got to know Him, and I know He knows me.
As a result of prayer, establishing a “real” and personal relationship with Christ, and having completed the deliverance program I am now free and forgiven! I know our Lord, Jesus, for the first time in my life. I know Him and He knows me. I am no longer in bondage. I have truly been set free. The strongholds no longer have power over me. My life has changed. Praise God! Where all this goes from here, God only knows!