I know in my heart that the Lord was with me the 8th day of February (deliverance ministry session). Although I was hoping that I could say I became free on that day, it wasn’t until six days later that I realized it. On the Saturday night of the Released to Soar seminar, I felt exhausted. There was turmoil in my head, and I barely slept that night. I was in the midst of making a decision about my current intimate relationship.
For several years, I had been asking God to help me know whether this relationship was His Will or not. As the days proceeded, I felt more and more courage to leave the relationship. The fear of leaving seemed to wither away, and a feeling of strength appeared to take its place. I knew this strength came from the Holy Spirit and not from me. With faith as my guide, I decided to end this toxic relationship on February 11th. I had prepared myself to feel all the pains of a breakup.
I prepared to handle the emotional pain that comes from letting go of someone you love, even though you don’t want to let go, but you know you have to. All of those thoughts induced fear, but I persisted, and ended the relationships despite these fears. I cried for 2 days. Exactly 1 week following the seminar, and 3 days following the break-up, I felt a blanket of God’s peace cover my whole being. I cannot describe in words the feeling of peace that came over me.
The emotional pain stopped. The crying stopped. I felt relief. I felt free. The anxiety that I felt for the last 3 years simply diminished. My heart was no longer heavy. A tremendous emotional strain that I felt for so long, was lifted from me that day. This is the day I realized that February 8th changed my life, and I was free. I feel like this was God’s way of saying, “this is My Will for you.” He confirmed for me that my decision to leave was guided my Him. That is all I ever want to know and do. To know that my actions and decisions reflect God’s Will for me is all I ever want to accomplish.
On a separate, but also important note, I had sought forgiveness from God for someone in my life that I had a strained relationship with. I hadn’t spoken to her in about 1 year. About 2 weeks after the seminar, I received a card from her in the mail. It was a beautiful card. I called her to thank her, and we talked for a while on the phone. Our relationship has been restored. This came from God’s divine forgiveness and mercy.
I would love to say that this peace lasted, but after about a month, thoughts started re-entering my head and my sleep was interrupted by nightmares and excessive thinking. Having taken the seminar, I knew what was happening. I prayed and commanded the demons to go and told them they are not welcome here. Just as was mentioned in the seminar, it seemed as if demons came back. I got the flu and was home in my apartment for a week.
I started to miss and feel the emotional pain of the breakup. I knew this wasn’t God. There was nothing Godly about it. I was able to discern it, and I continued to pray the prayers spoken in the Deliverance seminar. It took a few days after my recovery from the flu, but I got through it. After that week, I’ve felt a thirst for the Lord more than I ever have. My thirst continues and I am seeking Him every day, and staying aware of what might be coming.
My faith grew stronger through this experience, and I am forever grateful. Saying thank you doesn’t seem like enough. You will always have a special place in my heart.