An example that describes how I felt is Jonah, how he might have felt in the belly of the whale with seaweed wrapped around his head. Fear would grip me and I would do all that I knew to be free of this mental confusion, panic attacks and fear.
In an effort to find relief I practiced being “very spiritual” studying and quoting the scriptures, this gave me hope but the oppression and depression would seem to be more aggressive and only went “underground” until the next episode.
Circumstances that were out of my control seemed to be the right atmosphere that loosed those spirits against me. There were threatening and tormenting voices that would continually remind me, “You will lose everything you desire if you don’t stop talking about Jesus.” As a result of this fear many times I would develop attachments to things, people and habits to find comfort.
These people and things began to control me. On the one hand I would try to get out from under their control but on the other hand I was afraid to let them go. These forces and the battles often were so intense I thought I would lose my mind and prayed to die to ease my torment.
I began to consider hypnosis as a way out but could never get the “free feeling” to continue, then I searched around for deliverance ministries thinking this would be the true way to find freedom. I had gone through deliverance in the past and experienced dramatic results, but as always, it seemed things and circumstances would build up again and I would experience desperation again. Finally not being able to find any deliverance ministries where I live I prayed and asked God to guide me as I researched the internet.
When I found Above and Beyond Counseling ministries, my spirit identified with this wonderful gift of God to His body. The more I read about them I knew this ministry was guided by the spirit of integrity and Godliness! I spent three days and went through intense times of “soul searching” and deliverance. I know that God used his beloved servants as “soul healers”.
Through the counseling of Donald Ibbitson, his love and patience I discovered many areas of my life that were operating against me because of my own habits, actions and thinking, even my emotions have been so screwed up I did not realize the doors I had opened, that were “freeways” for demon spirits, even putting into others lives what the Lord revealed “taproots” so I could feed into others my thoughts, my ideas, and to repay them I would allow them to do the same into my life.
I thank God for revelation and truth through this ministry that has helped me to cut those tap roots, even a little at a time, but knowledge with grace is powerful!! I have both with the strength to do this unafraid and joyfully with greater hope and freedom. I know that this is an ongoing process but for sure it is going the right way upward!! With a thankful heart God has always provided a way of escape!