From January 7 to January 18, 2013 I was in a deep spiritual comma where ending my life was the only way out that I saw. After a year of a traumatic event in my life, and a lifetime of generational curses, those were two weeks of constant torture of the mind, not eating, not sleeping, not resting. The thought of suicide was always present, always weighing down on me, always. The spirit of suicide is extremely heavy and so I was not living, but simply existing.
In order to cope with my problems, I visited Doctors, counselors and psychiatrists and became withdrawn to friends and family. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, severe depression, anxiety, sleeping disorder, and attachment disorder. My cocktail of meds was pretty lengthy and too complicated to try to pronounce! And very quickly I became addicted to these pills and was even taking more than what was prescribed. I visited the “professionals” at least twice a week (on a good week).
I felt so lost and detached from everything around me that I used to do my daily activities with a “happy mask” on. I lost the feeling of hunger, my brain could not process simple feelings like being hungry and I dropped 20 pounds in two weeks. Due to my numbness of feelings, I cut myself because cutting was the only way to “feel”, and unfortunately I even planned out what I thought would have been the perfect suicide where my loved ones were supposedly not going to suffer. I became content with the fact that I was going to end my life.
On January 18, 2013 the Lord had a surprise for me. A life changing surprise! He allowed me to meet Phyllis from Above and Beyond Counseling Center. Finally, my spiritual problem was being approached spiritually, now I had the spiritual guidance that was necessary to restore my life.
From January 31 – February 3, 2013, I participated in the Released To Soar Deliverance Semiinar. Almost an exact year to this date; I was here, in this Church with an open heart.
The deliverance process begins before the day of deliverance. There is homework assigned that needs to be done in order to facilitate the process. The day of the deliverance I went to church with comfortable attire and was ready for a change. The process of deliverance was comfortable and time actually flew by.
Afterwards, I felt like a brand new person, full of energy and even “feeling” again. I was looking forward to living versus dying because God is a God of joy and eternal life. I was even amazed to feel my mind so clear because God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Currently, I am enjoying my sound mind! My life has NOT taken a “180 degree turn” because God is taking me to an entire different route then where I was prior to my spiritual comma. I’ve experienced numerous of positive changes in my life including: the deep desire to live, peace of mind, rest and other positive changes. I am so grateful for the restoration that God has done in my life and his love for me is so immense that it is beyond my comprehension. For Even if we are not faithful, he will remain faithful.
To conclude, Phyllis gave me some daily prayers and from there I created my own declaration of the mind, and it goes like this:
I am transformed daily by the renewing of my mind. I have the mind of Christ. The wisdom of God is formed within me. I take every thought captive this day and make it obedient to Christ. Lord, cover my mind with the blood of Jesus Christ and I speak forth blessings of a sound mind. Your power Jesus, is at work in me!
And one more thing…
My favorite verse: Isaiah 41: 13
For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
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