Do your conversations escalate into arguments rapidly?
Has communication collapsed in fear of your spouse’s anger?
Communication is the master key to a successful marriage and it’s probably one of the things you loved most about your spouse when you were dating. You remember those long conversations where you felt safe sharing everything that was on your heart. Now after a few years of marriage you can barely get out the first few words without bombs exploding.
Your spouse’s anger can open the door for a spirit of bitterness to take root in you. I see it all the time in the office. The angry husband that realizes he has a problem and wants help to change, but the wife is barracked behind a wall of pain and distrust.
That pain is often attached to word curses that have dropped like bombs in the midst of the battle.
Salvo’s fly with words like:
- “You are such a nag!”
- “You are bitter, just like your mother!”
- “Nothing is ever good enough for you!”
These word curses fuel the battle and leave wounds of rejection that demonic kingdom will use over and over to keep the war fresh.
It’s time wave the white flag and call a truce!
5 Keys To Annihilating Anger
- Take an hour and writedown ten reasons you first fell in love with your husband on a 3×5 card.
- Take all negative, angry thoughts captive daily and plead the blood of Jesus Christ over them, then choose to meditate on one reasons on your 3×5 card.
- Write down all the word curses that have been spoken during your arguments and break them by repeating: “I break every word curse I have spoken over my spouse and those he has spoken over me in the name and blood of Jesus Christ. I now declare them null and void.”
- Repent and release all judgment against your husband. Speak out loud: “I confess and repent for speaking angry words to my husband and I now forgive and release all judgment against him in the name and blood of Jesus Christ.”
- Pray to see your husband through the “Eyes of Christ.” When you ask, God will show you His perspective of your husband, and how He loves him.
Remember, you are not fighting a war of flesh and blood (Eph. 6:12) You are fighting an enemy that is using anger in your marriage to mock you in order to divide and conquer. It’s okay to hate that demon of anger; not your husband.
A pastor once described this Ephesians 6:12 war as:
I just wanted to slug that demon’s head, but my husband’s face kept getting in the way!
When your marriage is a battlefield, one side needs to lay down their weapons. The most mature spouse will be the first one to do this.
This is just a starting place for healing and reconciliation. Deeper understanding of the spiritual battle being waged over your marriage will help you fully win the war and reopen the lines of communication.